Healing Prayer for the Roots of Sex Addiction 

previous page: Cut Free

Working through the Deal with Sin page and the Cut Free page may have surfaced some troublesome memories from the past.  Though everyone has negative experiences in life, some people are more deeply damaged than others and may carry emotional scars that affect them for years to come.  People can easily turn to the pleasures of sexual sin or other things (alcohol, tobacco, drugs, etc.) in attempt to medicate the pain from the scars of the past.  Examples:

• An adolescent who turns to masturbation to medicate the pain of rejection he or she experienced from peers 
• A woman who finds solace in a lesbian relationship which caters to her hatred of men, developed through years of sexual abuse from her father
• A person who becomes promiscuous in attempt to find the love and affirmation that his or her father failed to provide during their childhood
• A man who turns to sadomasochism to punish himself for enjoying sexual abuse from a neighbor as a child
• A person who retreats to masturbation to fulfill their desire for independence from God and people, after several unpleasant sexual relationships in their teen years
• A man who rapes as an expression of the anger and revenge he harbors toward his mother who severely rejected him as a child

God’s will for each of us is that we are restored to wholeness in our body, soul and spirit (Psalm 103:2-5, 3 John 1:2, Isaiah 61:1-3).  God wants to help us deal with the troublesome memories and remove the current obstacles that hinder our wholeness.  He wants us to enjoy life and no longer be enslaved to sin or the memories of it. Jesus confirmed this as he announced his mission on earth: 

¹⁸The Spirit of the Lord is upon me, because he hath anointed me to preach the gospel to the poor; he hath sent me to heal the brokenhearted, to preach deliverance to the captives, and recovering of sight to the blind, to set at liberty them that are bruised, ¹⁹To preach the acceptable year of the Lord.  Luke 4:18-19 KJV (see also Isaiah 61:1-3) 

Jesus stands ready to help us and heal us from the brokenness, bruising and bondage of the past. 

Identify root memories

The first step in the healing process is to find the roots that are causing or contributing to our current struggles.  As in the examples above, common roots include: 

• Trauma (death of loved one, horror movies, torture, rape, accidents, abortions, etc.)
• Unhealthy relationships (manipulation, control, word-curses, etc.)
• Rejection or lack of affirmation from parents, family members, friends or members of opposite sex
• Abandonment
• Betrayal
• Abuse (verbal, emotional, physical, sexual) 
• Unpleasant sexual experiences
• Failure
• Occult experiences (ex. spiritualist healing, séance, fortuneteller, psychic, witchcraft, spell-casting, palm reading, coven meeting, Satanic ritual, black magic, levitation)

We can ask Jesus to reveal the root experiences that are contributing to our current problems.  James wrote, “If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask of God, who gives to all liberally and without reproach, and it will be given to him.” (James 1:5 NKJV). With that in mind, here is a prayer we can pray:

“Lord Jesus, please reveal to me any root memories that are causing or contributing to the problems I am having.  Thank you, Jesus. Amen.”  

As you wait on the Lord, take some time to think back through your life and write down any negative memories that could be roots in the table below.  Be sure to note any unusual events that occurred while you were developing in your mother's womb (examples: unwanted pregnancy, negative words spoken, parents wanted opposite gender, depression in mother, etc.).  Even in the womb babies can sense rejection and other emotions in the mother or other family members. 

Preparation for prayer 

Having identified the possible root memories, we can now prepare for a prayer session addressing them.  Here are some things to consider as you prepare:

Pray alone or with someone?  Going back to the troublesome memories can be difficult because you are revisiting the wounds that occurred.  Having a loving brother or sister in the Lord can help strengthen you and encourage you as you face the memories. It will be best if such persons are sensitive to the leading of the Holy Spirit and have faith in the current healing work of Jesus Christ.  If you’re not ready to break secrecy with a prayer partner about your struggles, the Lord will still work with you.  He will lead you in the healing process as you are able to deal with each area. 

Where to pray:  A peaceful location is best for prayer. Since dealing with unpleasant memories can be upsetting, choose a private place that will have minimal distractions. It will also help to create a “God-focused” atmosphere in the location you choose. For example, prior to prayer you might play some worship CD’s in the room or recite psalms of praise or other scriptures.  

How many sessions?  If you have several memories to deal with, you may need more than one prayer session.  Allow sufficient time for each prayer session. An hour or so will be probably the most you’ll want to tackle in a session, as this kind of prayer can be exhausting.   

What to expect:  God can work in many different ways in a prayer session.  Peace will characterize whatever the Lord does in you, so you need not fear that he will violently “possess” you or force you to do something you’re not ready to do.  Sometimes during these prayer sessions Jesus will take people back to the memory in a type of vision and comfort them with his presence.  He may give them a new perspective on the event that helps them process what happened and heal from the wounds it caused. In some cases, people “rest in the Spirit.” This is where the Lord may temporarily place you in a relaxed, conscious state while he heals you in many areas simultaneously. This may also be referred to as “spiritual surgery.” If this happens to you, do not fear.  God is the God of peace and uses such experiences to speed up the healing process.  Other people may not sense anything happening at all while they pray, but later may discover that the sting of the memories has been removed by the Lord.   

What to Pray 

Taking your list of root memories from the above section, you can now go to Jesus in prayer and ask for healing for each memory.  I suggest using a simple set of prayers that include:

• Confessing sin related to the memory that you have not previously confessed
• Asking Jesus to heal you from any binding effects of the memory
• Asking Jesus to heal the inner wounds (conscious or subconscious states) that still affect your life
• Asking God to fill you with his love, peace and joy

Here is an example prayer that you can use for each memory:   

Lord Jesus, I believe that you are God and that you are a rewarder of those who diligently seek you.  I believe that you are the God who heals.  I take authority over every spirit or power that is not of God and I bind them from interfering in any way during this prayer session.  I declare this room and this temple (or body) as holy ground, dedicated to Jesus Christ exclusively.  I release the peace of God in this place and in my mind right now. 

Lord, I lift up this memory of ____________ to you now.  I confess any sin that I committed in conjunction with this memory: _______________(specify).  If I have harbored any unforgiveness toward the people involved, I now forgive them.  Please forgive me and cleanse me from my sin.  Thank you, Jesus!  

I ask that you please heal me from any binding effects that this memory has had on my life. Please heal all the inner wounds from this memory that continue to affect me today, consciously or subconsciously.  Please help me to see that incident from your perspective and no longer rehearse the pains of the past.  I release that memory to your care right now. 

(Pause and take some time now to pray silently and/or pray in the Spirit, waiting on the Lord) 

Lord, please now fill me afresh with your love, peace and joy.  I receive your life and healing in my body, soul and spirit. 

(Again, pause and take some time to pray silently and/or pray in the Spirit, and receive from the Lord) 

Thank you, dear Jesus, for all that you have done in me today.  I praise you and glorify your name! Amen.”  

As you pray through each memory, be patient and don’t try to rush the Lord.  The Lord will help you know when you’ve received healing and are ready to move forward in the Freedom Journey I study.  This will typically be indicated by your ability through Christ to face the reality of each memory without the pain, fear, anger, bitterness, or other negative emotions that you previously had. 

Because of the potential heaviness and other negative emotions that can be stirred up inside us as a result of this type of prayer, I highly recommend that you pray a "Cutting Free" prayer following these exercises.  Here is an example:

"Lord God, thank you for this time of prayer and healing.  Please cut me free from all heaviness, sadness and negativity that may have been stirred up inside me as a result of these prayers.  Please wash my conscience with the blood of Jesus and help me to not place any undue focus on the memories we have worked on today.  Please help me to fix my thoughts on you, Lord, and now move forward in my walk with you.  Come Holy Spirit, renew me, fill me with your power, life and joy.  Strengthen me where I have felt weak and clothe me with your light.  Also, Lord God, please send your holy angels to minister to me.   I praise you and thank you, in Jesus' name, Amen."

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